NEW YEAR! Now what?
Jan 02, 2023It’s the first few days back at work in a brand new year. A clean slate. A do over. Hooray!💃🏻
While you may be confidently starting this professional year anew, many of us are staring into thin air thinking…
Now what?
Where do I start?
Seriously, what should I be doing?
Can someone just give me a No Fail List of action items listed in order of importance?
There’s so much to do,
…so much to clean up, fix, and change.
…so many initiatives to start.
…so many priorities and so little time and energy.
…also, gotta get all those dang end of year things off my desk.
Well, this isn’t the blissful, in-flow feeling that I wanted for 2023. This feels just like last year - equal parts of uncertainty, overwhelm and frantic energy.
Lack of time, resources, and clarity coupled with flat out fear of doing it wrong and failing have hijacked your best intentions even before you started this magical freaking year! UGH!!
Deep breath, my friend.
4 counts in.
Hold for 4 counts.
Slowly let it out for 4 counts.
Hold for 4 counts & repeat until your shoulders and jaw relax.
OK! Congratulations! 🎉
You’ve just started your new year's workday by regulating your nervous system - one of the most valuable skill sets any leader can possess! That brief pause to breathe deeply will reliably reconnect you to your body and calm your brain enough to discover your “next right thing.”
This is your new norm.
If you do nothing else differently in 2023 besides catch yourself mid-freakout and choose to practice nervous system regulation, you will have succeeded this year and given yourself a gift that will last a lifetime.
Can you imagine moving through your day in flow?
Not manic.
Not frozen.
Just clear-headed and grounded. Responding instead of reacting.
Good. Because that’s exactly what will happen as you get good at this practice. It’s the “first things, first” activity that you may have missed in prior years, but hear me when I say this:
You don’t have the time or energy to neglect your nervous system any longer.
Here’s the quick & overly-simplified science you need to know:
- All the recent studies confirm that we are seriously stressed right now - for all the reasons.
- This has caused many of us to stay in a state of Fight, Fright, Freeze or Fawn, which is our body’s response to perceived danger. The trouble is that we’re staying in that state even when there is no threat present.
- When your nervous system remains dysregulated like this, you feel awful AND your ability to create personal and systemic change is hijacked.
- And unfortunately, some of the things you think will help calm your nervous system, like watching TV and resting, can actually keep you in a triggered state and make you feel worse.
AND HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS! There are a TON of practices that allow you to regulate your nervous system. You have the power to reconnect with your calm inner wisdom and best self.
⚡THIS WEEK'S ACTION⚡
- Explore THIS LIST of practices and observe which ones you’re drawn to.
- Experiment with a few this month and see how they work for you.
As you start incorporating new nervous system regulation practices, keep these things in mind:
- It starts with awareness. Temporary or long-term dysregulation can look like a lot of different things, from feeling scattered and spacing out to being in a rage with a racing heartbeat. Observe what’s happening with your body and thoughts regularly.
- It is a practice (ie. there is no perfection). You may suck at it in the beginning. You will get better with practice. The practices will have different results at different times and different circumstances. Recognizing those ebbs and flows in effectiveness is a powerful gift. It shows you the areas that need work. For example, you can find calm & flow during a meeting with your team - great, you’ve mastered your nervous system in that circumstance! You can’t find an ounce of calm & flow while talking to that crotchety Board Member - great, you now know that this is a triggering circumstance that will need more attention!
- Be gentle with yourself. The point of awareness is not to tally up how often you lose it. The goal instead is to observe neutrally where and when you have a triggered response. These responses are not voluntary. Our nervous system evaluates information from our environment on a subconscious, neurobiological level, not on a cognitive level. When sensing features of danger, our nervous system automatically puts us into a heightened, protective state, even if it doesn't make sense to us logically. It’s important to check into your body without judgment.
- Slow down to speed up. Caring for your nervous system does take time, but it rewards you with clarity, energy and full engagement that will increase your productivity, relationships and impact in this world.
- Watch your quiet knowing rise. Your intuition may be bold and obvious, but probably your “Next Right Thing” is more subtle and may be easy to dismiss unless you’re paying attention and honoring what arises.
- You may need professional support. Chances are, as you start noticing your nervous system triggers, you will also recognize connections to old wounds or trauma. Neutralizing those triggers or thought patterns often requires professional support from a therapist. The sooner you do, the sooner you’re freed from suffering.
Another deep breath. You’ve got this! I’m cheering you on in 2023!
Your coach, Ciara
Want to dig deeper?
- Article: Regulate Your Nervous System Right Now
- Article: 5 Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System, According to a Neuroscientist
- Book: “Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory”
Next week:
- Taming Your Priority List
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